Monday, October 1, 2012

Mexican Legalities and Other Important Things..

I have been a very bad blogger here lately.

I have been to the US and back. My 3 weeks in the States was super busy!!! I was working 50 hours a week and trying to fit in family visits and shopping trips. I started hearing rumors while I was there about Miguel and another woman from here. She is married and I confronted them both about it. Miguel had already heard the rumors and was expecting me to say something. He said that he was planning on telling me the day after I arrived before everybody had a chance to run their mouths. I didn't give him the time, I immediately confronted him as soon as we got in the truck at the airport. He said that none of it is true, that he had been to her house, but that was because she sells "cenas" The people whio started the rumors are people who are infamous for causing problems like this to every couple who one of them stays behind in the rancho while the other is in the States for either a short time or a long time. The majority of the rumors they start have been proven lies so I don't put too much into what they say. Their problem with us is, they sell "cenas" as well and since the other girl started selling Miguel started going to her house to buy. So, they started on them. I am not fully trusting yet, tough. He has said that he talked to her and hung out there after eating and admitted to telling her personal things about us that he should have NEVER told her. He never told me about hanging out there until last week when she let it slip the personal stuff that Miguel had told her and I confronted him about it. I told him that in my opinion, he was unfaithful, maybe not physically, but he hid from me his conversations with her for some reason. the only I can think of is because he knew he was wrong. He said, but we didn't do anything, but talk. I told him to put himself in my place. To imagine that he was in my position and I in his. He had found out 3 weeks later that I told another man personal stuff and hid that I talked to him and hung out with him, what would he think. He took about a minute and said, "Ok you're right, I fucked up. I didn't think it was wrong to talk, but if it was you then I would be mad and hurt."

We are working on this lack of communication and problem. I believe that he hid it from me because there was more there. I don't think he had any physical contact with her, but I feel that if it had kept going something might have happened. I feel horrible and betrayed by this and we are trying to get through this.

This has brought up another doubt in my mind. We got married in the US. We now live here and are in the process of building a house. This got me to thinking about what if something had happened and we separated. How would I be protected and not lose my house to him? We are halfway through building our house and have bought a major piece of land. I have invested a lot of time, energy, and money into this project to create a home for us. Does anybody know if I am protected with us being married in the States and me only having a tourist permit here? I plan on getting a visa, but haven't yet.

Also, i don't anticipate anything to happen to cause a divorce, but I just would like to know my rights. We are working on this problem and are making progress. We have agreed to stay away from her house and to not have anything to do with her anymore. We have come to find out that she ruins marriages too, but in a different way than the others. She is a slut who likes to break up marriages. She has been the cause of a few break ups and quits seeing the man once she has ruined his marriage. I told Miguel that she doesn't ruin the marriage on her own, the man has to be willing to cheat for her to be able to do this. We both agree that she is not the one with the commitment to the wife, it is the husband who does. This in no ways excuses her actions.

I am just glad that Miguel did not take it to the next level, that would be something that I would definitely not forgive.

I have grown up from the 20 year old who would have went to her house and beat her ass, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to. She acted as my friend and all along was hiding the fact the she had private conversations with my husband.

I just needed to vent about this.


  1. Vent away! One has to let out of the steam somehow. You don't want to keep it bottled up and then blow up during a conversation with your hubby.

    I have been a lurker for some time, so I thought it was time to comment. I can't tell you what your rights are because I'm not familiar with it. I'll leave that to your other readers. It's good that you are looking into it just in case. Especially when you are outside of your country. Good luck with everything. :-)

  2. Just wanted to chime in and say...
    I think it is smart that you are questioning about your "rights" in another country. Not because you expect to ever get a divorce, but to know! The more you know the more power you have.
    Marriage can be hard and takes a lot of work. It sounds like you both want it to work because he was willing to listen, admit his mistake, and you've both taken action on correcting the problem.
    As a woman that has gone through many different things....
    I think its always important to know your rights, have an emergency fund, and nip problems in the bud (southern saying, I'm sure you understand it....haha.
    I've learned over the years that as soon as their is something going on in your marriage that makes you feel bad or uncomfortable, immediately take action.
    Wishing you guys all the best! =)