Monday, January 30, 2012

Lisa's monthly questions...

Well, Lisa is back so, that means.... We get to do these questions again! yayy!! I really love doing these, it keeps things interesting and we all get to learn new things about each other. So, here we go:

1. What is one chore that you hate doing the most?

I used to hate washing dishes but, now, I HATE taking out the trash in the bathroom. I can't wait to move so, I won't have shitty toilet paper in the trash can! LOL

2. When was the first time you had alcohol?

I was actually 15 and a friend and I got her boyfriend to buy some wine coolers, I took 1 drink and hated it.

3.What is one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to you?

I don't know, I am like Lisa, my family is very crazy and if you do something or something happens that would be embarrassing or funny, you will never live it down. So, that would be difficult but, maybe the worst I can remember is sneaking out to go out with friends when I was 14 and my mom found me and called the police on everybody there! I was with everyone, even my then boyfriend who was older than me so, they all almost went to jail!! I never lived that one down with them and at that moment, I could have killed my mom. Now, though, I would do the same thing to my daughter! Go figure!

4.If you could choose how would you want to die?

Either in my sleep or doing something I love.

5. Would you rather see a movie at home or in the theater?

I would rather be at home, that way we can eat what we want and either lay on the floor, couch, or what ever.

6.  Two of your favorite musical artists and why?

1. Garhn Brooks- I am from North GA so, Friends in Low Places says it all. We used to sing that in high school!
2. Pitbull- I love reggeaton and Pitbull is one of the best! Oh, and the memories I have of dancing to his songs! LOL

7. Have you ever been to a karaoke bar and participated?

I have never been to a Karaoke Bar, when I used to go out, I always went to dance clubs. I have always loved to dance.

8. Are you a people pleaser?

To an extent, I am. I don't like to make people feel bad but, then again, if it affects me in a bad way or in a way that I don't want it to, I won't care what someone feels.

9. In high school what group were you apart of?

In my high school, we had the rednecks, blacks, and Mexicans and I had friends in all groups but, didn't hang out ith any of them on a regular basis. So, I would say part loner part all. I mainly hung out with my nonhigh school friends.

10. One thing you remember doing that upset your parents?

Sneaking out when I as 14, 15, and 16, my mom has called the cops on me, threw shoes at me, yelled at me, and beat my butt so many times it ain't funny. One time though, I skipped school told my mom I was staying late after school and would be home around 6. Well, I came home at 6:30 like nothing happened. I went in to my bedroom and my dad was sitting on my bed with my stereo speaker (my baby at the time) in his hand. As soon as I opened my door, BAMM!! He threw the speaker up against the wall right beside the door a mere 2 inches from my face!! It busted into pieces, I 'still don't know if he was aiming for me or what but, I was pissed about the speaker and he told me to be glad I still had one speaker and if I did that again, I wouldn't have it either. They still won't tell me who they found out I skipped school and who I was with. My advice: Do not skip school; it is not worth it!!!

11. First Hangover?
I was 26 and went to the club with my cousin/ best friend. She was ordering my drinks and I didn't know she started ordering doubles after the second drink. I was sitting down watching people and about an hour and 4 drinks later, I stood up and fell on my butt! I was so drunk, I couldn't even walk out of the club. My cousin and her boyfriend had to carry me out, I woke up at 11 the next day still drunk and by 1PM, I had a hang over!
The worst hangover was after another night of partying with my cousin nd other friends but, this time at home. We played quarters and other games and got so drunk the next day, I was dying! I got tonsilitis the very next day and everyone says it was from the hangover from hell! Who knows?!

I can't wait to read the answers to these questions!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

We had the conversation and it went as I thought it would

Well, we had the conversation with my in laws about the way they treat everyone here and it went as I thought. Only one of my sisters in law recognized  what was wrong. The one who did is the one who I do get along with, she has never treated us bad.
The one who treats us the worst just got up and walked away without saying anything. My mother in law as usual gave excuses for her but, this time, it could be part of the reason. She said that it is because, we are a total of 11 people in a 2 bedroom house. For anyone to understand this, they need the whole story from the beginning so, here goes.
When Miguel was 12 years old, his grandfatehr got sick with Alzhiemers and his grandmother needed someone to go back to the "ranchito" to help take care of him. His dad and all of the other brothers got together and nobody else would make the sacrifice of leaving their careers to go care for their father. Miguel's dad left a very good career where he was making $3000 pesos a week in 1999 to go to the ranchito in Veracruz to care for his father. After being there for 5 years, Miguel's grandfather passed away. After he passed, his grandmother and all of the children made an agreement that, Miguel's parents would inherit the house and land where they had been planting vegetables for sale for years but, they would need to stay and help take care of his grandmother. So, they stayed. After suffering from lack of income due to a drought for 2 years, Miguel went to the US to live and work withhis uncle. For the next 6 years, his parents and little sister dealt with a grandmother who was depressed, I would say. One day, she would be nice and sweet and then, she would be crazy mean. In the end, it got to where it was impossible to live with her. Finally, she told them to get the hell out of her house. So, they packed everything up and moved back here to their house in Monterrey. well, one of Miguel's sisters was living in the house. She emptied the spare bedroom out and told her parents, they would be sharing that room with his sister who was 17 at the time. To beat it all, the room she gave them is a room that is shut up between the bathroom and kitchen so, there is no privacy and no window to cool this room. In the summer, this room is very hot due to no ventilation. Well, the sister who was already living here is still living here and we have moved back in and Miguel's mom insisted that we sleep in her bedroom until we build upstairs which means that Ale the 18 year old is sharing her room with 6 other people and half the time she sleeps in  the livingroom. I can somewhat justify her attitude because of this and that she is a teen with no privacy, I would have been impossible to deal with when I was a teen and hadn't had privacy. The sister who was living here is moving out next week so, Ale will be going into the other bedroom with her parents until we either build upstairs or move out in 2 weeks. After we move up or out, her parents will be creating a hall way to the bathroom and tearing down part of the bathroom (it is way to long) to create an area for a window for her.

As for the children, the parents said what I thought they would but, after I gave them a couple of examples of when the kids have no reason to be mean to mine but, were, they also, told the kids that this will stop immediately and gave me permission to punish any child that is mean and abusive to anyone.

My mother in law and father in law still think that all of their daughters are perfect except the one I get along with and they also make difference between the perfect daughter who put them in a cave in their own house's kids and the other kids.They think the "perfect" daughter's kids are perfect like her and do no wrong and all the other kids are the bad ones which leads to lots of problems.

We also, talked to my father in law about the design for upstairs and confirmed that we were going to do what he had recommended. He had told us to close up the side walk way and add on to the roof downstairs and we had planned on that because the house down stairs is too small to add on an actual home upstairs for a growing family. I don't think that his mom was too happy with it and Miguel and I agreed that if she isn't then, we will just rent somewhere and build up infonavit and credit to get a house. I think this is the more reasonable choice, I liek the idea of not having to pay rent and investing money in something that is ours but, don't like the idea of being right here and risking losing all I invested here due to an atitude problem.

So, we are still at the same place. we don't really know of we are going to build or move. By the end of this week, we will know. If we will be moving, it will be after my surgery. I will keep you posted.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

We had a serious talk last night (Update from last nights post)

Well, Miguel and I talked about all of the issues. Finally, after about 3 hours of conversation, we decided that this weekend, we will have a family meeting and talk to everyone about these problems.
We will confront my sister in law about her attitude and racist comments. I plan on explaining to her that, she always says that it is not fair how the US treats Mexicans and all but, yet, she is doing the same thing here. I believe that you treat people the way ypu want to be treated. I will then explain to her that, I have my own customs and opinions and if I do something that is not the way she would do it, well, that is my way. I have never told her, she does things the wrong way, maybe they feel that, I have with my actions. Theyu get angry when I do something my way so, Miguel thinks that, maybe they think that by me doing it my way, I am telling them that, they are doing it wrong.
We will talk to his other sisters and tell them about how their kids have been treating my kids and that it is to stop as of now! I know they will start blaming my kids or saying kids will be kids. I will then acknowledge that, yes, my kids may be instigating some arguments but, they do not deserve to be bullied. I will then explain that bullying is not a kids will be kids thing that, is to be taken lightly. It is a very dangerous situation that lowers a child's self esteem, and is one of the causes child suicide and is the main cause of all of the school shootings in the US that, they love to talk about in this house. I will request cooperation from them to stop the bullying, these kids are all cousins and they should be defending each other and not bullying.
I will then talk to my mother and father in law and explain to them, that, this is their house and they are the ones who have control over what happens here. I will explain to them that, when I tell Miguel about the issues, he has responded, "We need to just move far away from here. Then, they won't see us except on the rare times we come visit." I refuse to allow this to happen, they are his family and I believe that, everyone needs their family but, if these things do continue, then, I will have to accept his response because, my sanity and my children are first and foremost. If that means that, we move and only come every few years to see his family for a few days then, so be it. I will then tell them, that this is their decision and they will make the one that, is right for them.
Afterwards, I will talk to the children and explain what bullying is and how it effects a child. I will then, tell them that I will not put up with any more of this behavior and that if I see any more of this, there will be consequences. I will not put up with them attacking my kids after they have came to tell me when somebody is mean to them. I will explain to them that, a kid is not weak when they tell on someone for hitting or abusing in any way. That to the contrary, that kid is stronger than the bully for standing up for theirselves.

After I have talked to everyone, I will then tell them all, that this decision is theirs, they will either choose to accept the kids and I and to treat us a human beings and part of this family or I will be forced to leave and that, Miguel will leave with me, not by me forcing him but, by his choice.

Hopefully after this conversation, things will change.

Today, is Miguel's birthday! The love of my life is now 25 years old, I just want to tell you, Te amo contodo mi corazon. Tu eres lo mejor que me ha pasado. Muchos felicidades en tu dia!!!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Toilet Paper in the Trash Can!!!

Ok, so, I have been married to a Mexican man twice! So, I am very familiar with this toilet paper in the trash can situation but, I literally HATE it!! It is unsanitary, it stinks to high heaven, and is just plain gross!!
I have as of yet to throw toilet paper in the trash and don't think, I ever will!!!
I have asked why this is done and they say it is because it will stop up the toilet. Well, I think, that toilet paper for one falls apart when it gets wet and 2 it is smaller than most stuff that goes down a toilet! Sorry excuse my grossness but, this just bothers me and grosses me out.
This post comes from something that happened the other day, the sewage pipe got stopped up and low and behold, guess who was to blame?
If you guessed the kids and I.... you are right. The exact comment was I don't know why Americans are so stupid, they live with all this money and the country is supposed to be better but, how can they be so stupid as to put toilet paper down the toilet but, what can you expect from idiots like them!
My kids heard this! I about went off on my sister in law, I told her that first of all, toilet paper is smaller than shit and it is not going to stop up a toilet unless they put too much in there and that she had no right calling Americans stupid, she does not have the right to judge anybody like that! Plus, if she ever said another racist remark like that in front of my children, I would punch her stuck up ignorant face in!
After they cleaned the pipe out, they found out it was stopped up by all the pork grease they poured down the sink and afterwards ran cold water to flush it down! I mean pork grease and cold water? Now, who is the stupid ones?

Now, for a more serious note, I read a letter my son wrote to my mom and I cried my eyes out.
The letter went like this:

Dear Nana,
I like skateboards alot. I want to go back to Canton, GA because, everybody picks on me here and hit me. I am tired of people being mean to me Jeni and my Mama. I think if, we go to Canton for a while they will miss me and then be nice to me when I get back. I know they will have fun without me but, I won't come back until they miss me so, they won't be mean anymore.

Love Nando

I thought the other kids had stopped being mean to the kids but, I guess not. Now, I have a major decision to make and I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I tell his sisters, they will only laugh it off or say it is my kids fault so, that is out of the question. I really don't know what to do, we don't know anybody here. Everyone we know are just like Miguel's family and treat us the same so, I can't really ask them to babysit while we work. I need some advice on what to do, I feel lost and worried right now. I also feel decieved because they all acted like they wanted us to come when we were in the US and now that we are here, they treat us bad. I am babbling and complaining again but, this time, I need some advice on what to do and am not just complaining.

I love Miguel's parents to death but, don't like any of them right now. His sister's for the way they act and what they allow their kids to do. I am very angry with Miguel's parents for allowing their daughter (she is the youngest and still lives at home) to treat everyone like this. I am very angry with Miguel for allowing all of this to happen and not say anything to his family. I told him this morning that, he needs to remember, we are his family now and though they are his sisters and parents, we should be his priority and not them. I have never made him choose between them or us but, he keeps allowing this to happen and I have had it, it is destroying our relationship. We are back to fighting everyday like the last time we lived here. His idea was to move and rent again but, if we do, he won't be able to work and we are planning on a baby this year and for a while, we will be dependent on his income.

Any advice, PLEASE :(

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Work and Everything Else

Hello everybody!!!
I am back and in a better mood!! The in law's do not stop irritating me but, I am learning to ignore and to not let it get to me. They will always do stupid stuff just to bother me like, last night, they opened my bread and left it open all night knowing that, I will not eat it after it is left open and it was a new pakage!!! I just threw it in the trash and bought another one, maybe opnce they see that I am not going to be bothered, maybe they will eventuelly stop!

Ok, now on to my normal life, I started work full time again this week, my students finally decided to come back to work after Christmas!!

I have quit letting people get to me, well, that is my goal this year. I first started with my in laws and then on to my boss. Last year, he always took advantage of me and was constantly having me go to classes really late, far away, and last minute. Plus, he had me working from 7:00AM until 8:30PM Monday thru Friday but, my total hours were only about 30 hours due to having a class for an hour and then an hour free. I had a lot of free time but, was too far from my house to do anything and in hour, you really can't get anything done so, I was stuck just sitting and waiting! Well, this year I put my foot down. I will only work either Daytime; 8:00-6:00 or afternoon/ evening; 1:00-8:30. He didn't like and but, had no choice, I told him that I couldn't be working like that anymore, I have kids that I need to be a mother to and need to teach more. I know he got mad because, I asked him for a small loan until payday (my hours were dead from Christmas until this week) and he flat out said "No" and that is something he never does. Oh well, I may be broke but, I have been that plenty of times in my life but, now, atleast I have time for myself and my family.

On to other things, Sunday was my baby girl's 10th birthday!!! She is officially in the double digits!!! We planned to wake her up by throwing balloons on her and singing the Mañanitas but, she woke up before us!! So, we sent her to see if the neighborhood atore was open and fixed some Penguinos and a muffin with ccandles and surprised her walking back into the kitchen. She was surprised! My camera took the picture blurry but, we got her with the penguino on her face!!

Afterwards, we went to Parque Fundidora to celebrate her birthday but, her actual party will be at the beginning of February. Here are a few pictures of Sunday:

So, we had lots of fun and the birthday party is going to be awesome!!! It is the last party party until her 15th, she wants a huge 15th with all the extremes so, we have to save and she is willing to sacrafice these 4 parties to have an awesome quince. We will still have a dinner and cake but, no official party.

We will start building in a week. We have decided to build a complete apartment upstairs, with kitchen, living room, and all. That way, we won't have to deal with all of the attitudes and problems. If someone starts running their mouth, we can just go upstairs to our house. I can't wait to finish it so, we can get into our own house and have peace and order again.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Hello everyone.....

Well, today is Thursday, my last day at work for the week!!! We have a very busy weekend ahead of us.

Tomorrow, we will go shopping. Sunday is Jeni's 10th birthday and we will be taking her to buy a new outfit to wear Sunday. After that, we will clean and do laundry. (The fun part!!)

Saturday, we will do more chores. We have to go to the old house to finish getting our stuff out of there and then we will have to organize.I can't wait to get the construction started because, right now, it only seems like a wish. Once it has actually started, it will feel real. Most of all I can't wait until it is finished and we can move in!!!

Sunday is Jeni's birthday so, we have a few things planned for that day. We will not be having her party then because, it is cold here, too. We decided to do her party on Feb 4 but, I will fix one of her favorite foods that she hasn't had in over a year, Pasta Alfredo with chicken, broccilli, carrots, and snow peas. That is if I can find all of the ingredients. We will also be having her a birthday cake that day. We have a birthday tradition that, I have been doing every year since their first birthday. The night before their birthday, I put a ballon bouquet and a small gift and card in their room so, the first thing theysee when they wake up is that. On Luis' birthday last year, I didn't, we couldn't afford it then but, I plan on doing it with Jeni for her this year and start the tradition back again this year. We will also, be celebrating another birthday on Sunday, my niece's. She turns 2 on Monday so, we will add her name to the cake and celebrate her day, too. This was Jeni's idea.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

I am better than what I have been doing....

I have been thinking today and came to a conclusion. If my sister in law wants to be two faced and have her little attitude, well, I am not going to drop to her level. I was raised to respect and to treat others as you want to be treated. So, I will treat her with respect, I just will not go beyond that. If she speaks to me, I will answer and that is it. I am not her friend and I don't think I ever will be. She is Miguel's sister so, I have to be around her but, all families have that one person you just can't stand.

I will not let her get to me and ruin my days. I will not let her ruin my plans to build onto my mother in law's house, after all, it belongs to Miguel's parents and they do like me and have been welcoming. The only times my mothe rin law has an attitude is when her litttle girl gets started, After we have built on, I will have my own space and when I get irritated with any of them, I will just go to my room, This is our oppotunity to be able to save money and to invest into something that will belong to us and not throw money away on rent. I willnot let this chance get away just because of a spoiled brat.

So, no more complaining, well, maybe just not as often!! :)

I will be going for my pre-op check up next week and after that, I will have my tubal reversal the first week of February. I can't wait to be able to get started making our little bit!!!!

Oh, we had the Rosco de Reyes yesterday and the bakery forgot the monitos!!! So, we all got lucky,nobody has to make the tamales in February!!!

Friday, January 6, 2012

URRRGGGGRRR!!!!! I need to vent before I go off on someone!!!

Well, we have been living at my mother in law's again for about 2 weeks and I am ready to go off on someone!
At first, all was good but, then, Miguel went out of town to work. Even then, all was fine for a day. I went with my mother in law and sister in law shopping, with my money and as soon as, I ran out of money, my youngest sister in law started with her little smartass attitude. After that, my mother in law followed suit! You see, Ale (my sister in law) is a spoiled rotten brat and that is putting it lightly. Well, Miguel was out of town  for 3 days and the last 2 days, I was ready to beat the hell out of somebody! I had had it with the disrespect, I toild Miguel that, not only am I her sister in law, I am older that her and she should respect me. I am 15 years older than her and I have always been taight to respect people who are older than me. I honestly don't know what happened to her, everyone else is respectful. i thnk they just spoiled her majorly and still think she walks on water! I loved her to death before I met her, when we would talk on the phone but, now that I know the real her, I can't stand her! She  a two faced bitch that thinks she is better than anybody else and can't stand the US or Americans. She thinks we are stupid uneducated people who only steal from Mexico, she brings up the Alamo all the time!! I have told her to get with the present and to forget about something that happened hundreds of years ago and that, honestly, the people who are uneducated are the ones who are prejudiced and racist and that she remonds me of the Americans I can't stand that are racist and prejudice! (Maybe that is one of the reasons she doesn't like me but, not he only one. She didn't like me before I told her that)

Any way, to today, there are 4 older girls here. After supper, we had 2 of them wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. We cut the Rosca de reyes and had hot chocolate later. Afetr that, we told the other 2 to clean the kitchen and one of them mimicked me. I was like, excuse me? I told her twice and she talked back again saying that she wasn't going to clean anything and that I had no right telling her what to do! Do you believe that? An eleven year old telling me that! I was dumbfounded, my kids would never dare speak to an adult like that, they know they would be in deep trouble! Well, I went outside with Miguel, Ale, and my mother and father in law and told them what she did. Ale said that she would do the dishes since everybody else was to worried about making somebody do them. I told her that, that was not the point that, that my niece needs to learn to respect and to do what she was told. My father in law just laughed and that pissed me off even worse!

I told Miguel that, I can't live here, everyday it is something. I want to see if we can get a mortgage and buy a house instead of building on here. I can't deal with this everyday, I am about to go off on somebody and when I do, everything that, I have held in up to then will all explode onto that person and you know who I hope it is! ;)

If we can't get a mortgage then, I guess we will build on here but, we will build an apartment, with livingroom, kitchen, a private entrance, and all. Tha way, I can just go to my house when they start acting ridiculous!

Thank you for listening to me, I needed to vent before I did something that, got me kicked out of this house! Good night!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

2012 Plans....

Happy New Year everybody! This post is going to be about my plans for this year. I don;t like to call them resolutions because, resolutions are always forgotten but, plans usually happen. Ok, so, anyway back to it.

Plan #1:  To get pregnant. That is a plan that we have had for a while and this year, it will finally happen! I will be having my surgery in 4 weeks and then 10 weeks later, we are free to baby make! yayyy!!!

Plan #2: Get back to walking. I need to start this before, I get pregnant so, I can continue while pregnant.

Plan #3: Decide whether or not we will be expanding my mother in law's house. We are considering either expanding it or building an apartment upstairs with everything: livingroom, kitchen, and all but, we still have not decided.

Plan #4: Get my Fm3 or Fm2 so, that we can start the process for Miguel's Visa. Hopefully, it won't be that long but, we are not optimistic about it.

Plan #5: Have a great year!!!

Well, that is my list of New year's plans. What are yours?