Monday, January 23, 2012

Toilet Paper in the Trash Can!!!

Ok, so, I have been married to a Mexican man twice! So, I am very familiar with this toilet paper in the trash can situation but, I literally HATE it!! It is unsanitary, it stinks to high heaven, and is just plain gross!!
I have as of yet to throw toilet paper in the trash and don't think, I ever will!!!
I have asked why this is done and they say it is because it will stop up the toilet. Well, I think, that toilet paper for one falls apart when it gets wet and 2 it is smaller than most stuff that goes down a toilet! Sorry excuse my grossness but, this just bothers me and grosses me out.
This post comes from something that happened the other day, the sewage pipe got stopped up and low and behold, guess who was to blame?
If you guessed the kids and I.... you are right. The exact comment was I don't know why Americans are so stupid, they live with all this money and the country is supposed to be better but, how can they be so stupid as to put toilet paper down the toilet but, what can you expect from idiots like them!
My kids heard this! I about went off on my sister in law, I told her that first of all, toilet paper is smaller than shit and it is not going to stop up a toilet unless they put too much in there and that she had no right calling Americans stupid, she does not have the right to judge anybody like that! Plus, if she ever said another racist remark like that in front of my children, I would punch her stuck up ignorant face in!
After they cleaned the pipe out, they found out it was stopped up by all the pork grease they poured down the sink and afterwards ran cold water to flush it down! I mean pork grease and cold water? Now, who is the stupid ones?

Now, for a more serious note, I read a letter my son wrote to my mom and I cried my eyes out.
The letter went like this:

Dear Nana,
I like skateboards alot. I want to go back to Canton, GA because, everybody picks on me here and hit me. I am tired of people being mean to me Jeni and my Mama. I think if, we go to Canton for a while they will miss me and then be nice to me when I get back. I know they will have fun without me but, I won't come back until they miss me so, they won't be mean anymore.

Love Nando

I thought the other kids had stopped being mean to the kids but, I guess not. Now, I have a major decision to make and I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I tell his sisters, they will only laugh it off or say it is my kids fault so, that is out of the question. I really don't know what to do, we don't know anybody here. Everyone we know are just like Miguel's family and treat us the same so, I can't really ask them to babysit while we work. I need some advice on what to do, I feel lost and worried right now. I also feel decieved because they all acted like they wanted us to come when we were in the US and now that we are here, they treat us bad. I am babbling and complaining again but, this time, I need some advice on what to do and am not just complaining.

I love Miguel's parents to death but, don't like any of them right now. His sister's for the way they act and what they allow their kids to do. I am very angry with Miguel's parents for allowing their daughter (she is the youngest and still lives at home) to treat everyone like this. I am very angry with Miguel for allowing all of this to happen and not say anything to his family. I told him this morning that, he needs to remember, we are his family now and though they are his sisters and parents, we should be his priority and not them. I have never made him choose between them or us but, he keeps allowing this to happen and I have had it, it is destroying our relationship. We are back to fighting everyday like the last time we lived here. His idea was to move and rent again but, if we do, he won't be able to work and we are planning on a baby this year and for a while, we will be dependent on his income.

Any advice, PLEASE :(


  1. I am so sorry you are stuck in such a sucky situation. I would not know what to do either. Has your husband seen the letter that your son wrote? Maybe the kids should each write a letter to him and tell him how they really feel. It is such a tought situation, I agree with you telling your husband that he needs to do somthing about it though. I wish I had some better advice Stephanie, hang in there I hope things get better for you and your family soon. :(

  2. Hi! Stephanie You surely are a courageous person,you have left all the comforts of America to have a life in Mexico and experience a different culture and your husband gets to be close to his family. They don't even to notice all the sacrifices you have done not to mention your kids.I agree with you ,Do NOT PUT UP with this kind of treatment. For your kids this is heartbreaking.If they have been like this for an entire year already ,they will not change easily ,what people say and DO are two different things.Please ,unless you see true remorse for their behavior I would BEWARE,these are adults ,you can not change their character or personality. I think your sisters inlaw are jealous of you for some reason,probably because you are such a strong person and you stand up for those you love and what you believe in. So think twice about building a house above your inlaws, life is to short to live it in misery. Best of luck. PS I enjoy reading your blog ,keep up the great blog.

  3. Ay Stephanie! So sorry you are going through all of this. 1st I wanted to tell ya that I remember our trips to Mexico and the whole toilet paper in the trash thing. I was in a bit of shock at 1st. I had no idea this is how it was done. Everytime I went to the bathroom, I wanted to flush the paper but was told not to. I think I did a couple of times by accident and habit.

    2nd, so sorry you and your kids are having to deal with what sounds like emotional abuse. The best advice I have is to be strong and to not put up with it AT ALL. I already read your post about you guys having a family talk and I think that was a great idea. Now that everything is out in the open, hopefully things will start to turn around.
    I agree with what your reader said above about you are dealing with "adults" and you can't make them change. Talk with your kids frequently and ask them how they are feeling and what is going on. I'm glad that after the talk everyone agreed that the bullying behavior will stop. Stay on top of it though, because sadly, kids learn by actions and with the way you guys are being treated I hope the kids who were doing the bullying do not regress.
    Keep your head up and an open line of communication with your hubby.

  4. STEPHANIE STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! You know exactly the pendejo-culture you married in to.

    You are not living with the part of Mexican culture where the kids come home with Harvard and Worton business degrees. These are the ones who know how to steal big time without being caught.
    And insist on having workable sewage systems.

    You are a gabacha living in a culture 3 generations removed from "up town" Mexico. Of course your relationship with these ciriollos is going to be adversarial. As a North American "you've got stuff and they don't". What you have is more valuable then anything they have; the ability to leave. Deep down they are probably wondering what in the world was she thinking, coming down here, when they would sacrifice a kidney just to get out of there.

    Of course it makes no sense to put ass-swipe in a bucket next to the commode. When and where do you empty the bucket when it's full? Now there's a toxic curmudgeon for you. Ask Carlos Slim if he collects or flushes his paper. You can bet he flushes. So the whole country can't be all that outdated.


    Here is what you do.... Once, twice, three times daily (use your own judgement) pour a five gallon bucket of water down the drain. You empty the bucket, refill it, and leave it in the bathroom next to the commode. Randomly during the day empty the bucket into the commode. Get the idea. You are keeping paper and fecal matter moving down the line in a continuous fashion.

    It's not surprising that (in small town Mexico) most of the drain lines from home to "main" are out dated and full of tree roots and stuff. Tree roots will stop up your sewage lines quickly so you need to move a lot of water through them to keep the lines free of debris.

    A plumber with a line snake can send it down your sewer with a sample chopper on the end of it. when he pulls it out, if there are roots in your sewage line he will see pieces of those roots. Then he will send an cutting bit threw the line to chop up all the roots and debris. Once flushed out of the system you won't have to worry paper stopping up the system. For this kind of work plumbers aren't that expensive or you can rent a snake at Home Depot and put you old man on the job.

    Hope this helps.

    1. Oh that was what seems like a century ago! LOL We moved 6 months later and now have our own house. However, i have another post in the works about my return to the US. We do not throw the toilet paper in the trash, we flush it in our house and our house is only a block away. We have never had any problems with our sewage lines except for when we first moved in. The lines were cheap-o lines so the were flattened out and half of the line was broken off. We replaced the line from the house to the road and have had no problems since. Our neighborhood is newer though. It was built 8 years ago. As for trees, they are rare where we live.

      My first year in Mexico was hell, but I made the best of it in the end. I now love Mexico and even though I can't stand my in-laws I can deal with them. As for small town Mexico, most towns don't even have sewers, they have "posos" or homemade septic tanks. I do know lots of people now who do flush all paper even in the neighborhood where we live. It is crazy what ignorance and a country that refuses to educate their citizens can do.

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