Monday, September 26, 2011

Very stressful and upsetting day

Well, things have been going great and I have been very optimistic until now.

I have been super busy as everyone can see and haven't had time to really think and I think that is what happened today.

Miguel is starting a painting and remodeling business so, we were trying to register it on the SAT website but, even though, I thought I speak Spanish, I found out, I have a lot to learn and Miguel has never used business Spanish. He went to the US when he was 17. So, we didn't understand half of it and that caused it to take forever. Would you believe that, you HAVE to have a partner or other employee besides yourself. The website requires a socio, we tried to put me but, I don't have my Fm2 or 3 so, no go. After we filled in everything except the socio, we were able to send it in for approval and guess what? We got denied, we need a moral partner and their approval, what ever that is. I will have to investigate this a little.

Throughout this ordeal, I was assigning weekly spelling words to the kids and giving them math work. By the time I finished, it was almost 12 and I had to be at work at 1 so, I gave the kids a review assignment for English and a writing assignment. Then, I got dressed and left.

I was thinking the whole time that, I just don't have enough time in my day. I have to work, have this HUGE responsibility of my kids education in my hands, have to cook lunch and dinner, and plus plan my classes for work. This caused an eruption, I sort of went off on Miguel and then told everybody, I loved them and left.

All the way to work, I was crying and almost called in to cancel my classes but, remembered, hey! This is your responsibility so, I kept going. Some how, i got thru the day but, I don't remember hwta we did in the classes just, that I gave conversation classes today. More like, they talked and I half listened. I know, not a good teaching style especially for English classes but, for today, I don't really care. Today was my "I want to go back to the States" day but, not really. I do miss all the benefits of having family around to help with anything and here, I don't have that.

I have come to a conclusion, I have way too much on me. Miguel is a life saver but, he can only do so much. He is no cook so, that will continue to be on me and the kids education will be, as will my classes so, I just need to figure out how to balance this.

I think, right now, what I need is "Me Time" I have always had it and in the past 7 months, I have only had me time a few times. In the States, I had "Me Time" every week so, yea, I need it. Nobody understands this concept here. they all think that if you had the kids, it is your responsibility to be with them 24/7. So not true.

I just don't understand how things can be going so great and just all of a sudden, just like that, change! I don't know, maybe, I am Bipolar or something but, I feel hopeless right now when yesterday, I felt great. I don't know what is going to happen right now but, I do know, I will get through this, one way or another!!


  1. Sorry to hear about your bad day. This time of year always seems to get to me, and those crying jags are more frequent. I think it has to do with the up coming holidays. I hope you get some comfort knowing that you are not alone in your feelings.

  2. Hope you are having a better day. No matter what you always need "me time". Take care

  3. Oh, girl! I hear ya! Sometimes it just all comes crashing down. And, the cultural differences of what people in Mexico expect and judge you on can just put a damper on things.

    I just accept that I am an American and I am not going to do the same things as what people here think I should do. I pay my MIL to take the girls three days a week. It isn't much money, and it is from around 10 am to 4 pm, but it is time. Time that I can use for myself, time that I can get work done or time to clean, do laundry or whatever else needs to be done.

    I ask my husband if his family thinks I am crazy for sending the girls to their house. He claims "no", but I know they probably think a bit negatively about it. But, honestly, I don't care. I need time away from them, they need time away from me and I need time for other things.

    I hope you find your balance soon! The value of "me time" is so underestimated. Hope you had a relaxing weekend, at least.

  4. Definitely need to have time to unwind and just chill out. Otherwise everything is a big deal. Hope you get some soon!