Saturday, January 28, 2012

We had the conversation and it went as I thought it would

Well, we had the conversation with my in laws about the way they treat everyone here and it went as I thought. Only one of my sisters in law recognized  what was wrong. The one who did is the one who I do get along with, she has never treated us bad.
The one who treats us the worst just got up and walked away without saying anything. My mother in law as usual gave excuses for her but, this time, it could be part of the reason. She said that it is because, we are a total of 11 people in a 2 bedroom house. For anyone to understand this, they need the whole story from the beginning so, here goes.
When Miguel was 12 years old, his grandfatehr got sick with Alzhiemers and his grandmother needed someone to go back to the "ranchito" to help take care of him. His dad and all of the other brothers got together and nobody else would make the sacrifice of leaving their careers to go care for their father. Miguel's dad left a very good career where he was making $3000 pesos a week in 1999 to go to the ranchito in Veracruz to care for his father. After being there for 5 years, Miguel's grandfather passed away. After he passed, his grandmother and all of the children made an agreement that, Miguel's parents would inherit the house and land where they had been planting vegetables for sale for years but, they would need to stay and help take care of his grandmother. So, they stayed. After suffering from lack of income due to a drought for 2 years, Miguel went to the US to live and work withhis uncle. For the next 6 years, his parents and little sister dealt with a grandmother who was depressed, I would say. One day, she would be nice and sweet and then, she would be crazy mean. In the end, it got to where it was impossible to live with her. Finally, she told them to get the hell out of her house. So, they packed everything up and moved back here to their house in Monterrey. well, one of Miguel's sisters was living in the house. She emptied the spare bedroom out and told her parents, they would be sharing that room with his sister who was 17 at the time. To beat it all, the room she gave them is a room that is shut up between the bathroom and kitchen so, there is no privacy and no window to cool this room. In the summer, this room is very hot due to no ventilation. Well, the sister who was already living here is still living here and we have moved back in and Miguel's mom insisted that we sleep in her bedroom until we build upstairs which means that Ale the 18 year old is sharing her room with 6 other people and half the time she sleeps in  the livingroom. I can somewhat justify her attitude because of this and that she is a teen with no privacy, I would have been impossible to deal with when I was a teen and hadn't had privacy. The sister who was living here is moving out next week so, Ale will be going into the other bedroom with her parents until we either build upstairs or move out in 2 weeks. After we move up or out, her parents will be creating a hall way to the bathroom and tearing down part of the bathroom (it is way to long) to create an area for a window for her.

As for the children, the parents said what I thought they would but, after I gave them a couple of examples of when the kids have no reason to be mean to mine but, were, they also, told the kids that this will stop immediately and gave me permission to punish any child that is mean and abusive to anyone.

My mother in law and father in law still think that all of their daughters are perfect except the one I get along with and they also make difference between the perfect daughter who put them in a cave in their own house's kids and the other kids.They think the "perfect" daughter's kids are perfect like her and do no wrong and all the other kids are the bad ones which leads to lots of problems.

We also, talked to my father in law about the design for upstairs and confirmed that we were going to do what he had recommended. He had told us to close up the side walk way and add on to the roof downstairs and we had planned on that because the house down stairs is too small to add on an actual home upstairs for a growing family. I don't think that his mom was too happy with it and Miguel and I agreed that if she isn't then, we will just rent somewhere and build up infonavit and credit to get a house. I think this is the more reasonable choice, I liek the idea of not having to pay rent and investing money in something that is ours but, don't like the idea of being right here and risking losing all I invested here due to an atitude problem.

So, we are still at the same place. we don't really know of we are going to build or move. By the end of this week, we will know. If we will be moving, it will be after my surgery. I will keep you posted.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.


  1. Hope everything goes well for your surgery. Glad you at least had the opportunity to have the talk and the majority of the people took part.
    I dont understand how the some parents will protect and do anything for the kids that dont even love or respect them back. Javi's grandma had a son and he is really not a good person and only goes to visit her when he needs something, but of course he is her favorite and gets treated better than the others who visit and take care of her everyday. Who knows how peope think sometimes.

  2. Glad everything is out in the open. Hopefully things will calm down and people will try and be more respectful.